Brutus, the Bold yet Blundering Buck

Meet Brutus. Everyone say, "Hi, Brutus!" Very good.

If Peter were older, Brutus would have funny stories told about him all the time. There would be all kinds of stories of his days out in the wild. Perhaps he was a deer of great courage and valor. Perhaps he made a habit of fighting off wild beasts and crazed bucks of a very dangerous sort to protect many does and fawns. Then again, perhaps he was a great bumbling doofus. You never know.

There would definitely be stories about what he does at night when we're asleep and stories of what he does when we're not looking. That goes without saying.

And of course, there would be the best story of all: How Brutus came to be stuck in our wall. I bet I'd hold off on that story for a long, long time. Meaning, I'd never tell it and always leave it hanging over the kids' heads.

Now go ahead and ask the question: "Why Brutus?" And, of course, prepare to be dazzled:

1. Because it had to start with "B," duh.
2. Because "Buckshot," "Bucko," and "Buckethead" were all too obvious and one-dimensional.
3. Because "Bluto" just didn't seem to work, unless we're going to work Popeye into every story.
4. A Brutus could have some awesome stories told about him.
5. Because it happened to be the first thing that popped out of my mouth, so it's what we're stuck with.

Unfortunately, Peter doesn't get it yet, so there are no Brutus stories to be told. Aren't you sad? Okay, okay, you win. There's one story to be told:

Brutus is the stupid name we gave the antlered fraction of stuffed carcass hanging on our cabin wall. Surprise!

Finis.